I’ve considered, made, failed, or forgotten many a New Year’s resolution over the last few years.  Well, not the last few years, more like the few years before the last few years.  During the last few years I’ve just gone to bed shortly after the boys, woken early to Nicky’s cries, and gotten back to work.  This year it’s been a little more on my mind, though, I think because this last year has kicked my butt more than any other I can remember.  Even 2008, when the boys were born, I came out of it more energized than I am now.  I think that year there were things that needed to be done, and it was never ending, but there was an end in sight.  No matter how many night-time feeds we had to do, we knew that someday soon the boys would be sleeping through the night, or at least, not feeding 3 times a night.

But this year has been a bit different.  We started it with a very painful parting as Malin left us.  Then Annie came, and we struggled, with language, driving, rejection, and other cultural differences.  Then our second attempt at a live donor IVF cycle failed.  And Katie had her nose surgery, and it was many times worse than mine a few years before.  I blew out my shoulder, and couldn’t carry my kids upstairs for nearly two months.  Then we had to deal with Annie’s abrupt departure, and 7 weeks without child care.  At the same time, I had been going to Physical Therapy twice a week since January, and making next to no progress on getting back to the point where I could use a computer without severe pain.  I was beginning to wonder if maybe we should change our long term plans to accommodate me going out on disability, and Katie going back to work full time.

Then Malina arrived, and we were in the midst of a very heavily scheduled summer, with lots of weekend events, camping trips, backyard projects, and culminating in our trip to Michigan (which just happened to correspond to our second miscarriage of the year).  Katie was struggling to adapt to yet another new manager, while I found myself in a losing fight at work and suddenly looking like I’d need to jump ship after only 9 months in the group.  After that we came back to a miserable excuse for a preschool teacher.  We dealt with that, and we were into October, and trying to finish the outdoor projects, and get around to getting halloween costumes, get the pumpkins carved, catch up on the blog, and god only knows what else.

November came and Katie was hammered at work, while I was beginning to get very anxious about the Christmas projects that just weren’t coming together.  She asked me to help get her through November, and then she’d be able to help me get through December.  Unfortunately, her work dragged into December, and everything slid still further.  Then we miscarried for the 3rd time this year, our 5th over the last two years, and our very last embryo.  Thank God Laura arrived at this point, as it let us both skip out on being parents for a few extra hours, just enough to fit in Christmas shopping, and me getting the boys’ Christmas presents finished.

When Christmas Day was finished, I thought for a few brief moments that we’d caught up.  Excepting the Christmas cards, of course, and cleaning the Den and Garage back out, and tackling the mound of outgrown toys in the garage, and installing the locks and door hardware we need to for the foster license, and a few other miscellaneous odds and ends.  Katie cured me of that notion quickly, and suddenly we’re off and running again.  And the urgency is compounded because in about 22 hours, a surgeon is going to cut open my arm and figure out why it hurts all the time, presumably by cutting it so I have a real reason to complain.  So I have to plan on having a only marginally functional hand during January, so anything requiring two hands (such as climbing on the roof to take down Christmas lights) had better get done by Friday, or it’ll have to wait until February or March.

So back to New Years Resolutions.  Next year’s resolution:  Fewer events, fewer activities, fewer projects; more time with family and friends.  Clean, simple.

It’ll probably last until February.  The Washer and Dryer aren’t stacking themselves, after all.  And we still have that return air problem.  And I haven’t attached the second swing set to the fort yet.  And it’d be nice to get the boys back into swim lessons.