Sunday night is Family Movie Night.  By “family”, I mean “everyone gets to watch”, not “everyone gets to pick”, because I can’t watch Dumbo that many times.  We recently secumbed to the allure of the Disney Movie Club, and procured a bounty of new movies.  I’m not going to say that they’re all particularly good movies, but I haven’t seem them before, or in a few decades, and some days that’s enough.

This last Sunday we watched the 2004 classic, Home on the Range.

For those few of you who haven’t seen this pinnacle of cinematography, it follows the tale of three cows on their epic quest to save their farm from foreclosure.  The lead cow, Maggie, is played by none other than Roseanne Barr.  And yes, she proudly proclaims, the teats are real.  <sigh>

Toward the end of the tour de force of the American West, we find our three heroines chasing Slim (the nefarious cattle rustler / real estate mogul) on a train.  They nearly collide with another train, before throwing the switch just in time.  They careen down the siding, but instead of breaking before a sharp turn to the left they keep going at full speed, jumping the track, snapping couplings, and rolling almost the whole way to their Farm, Patch of Heaven.  In the midst of the screams and yells of pigs, cows, horses, rabbits, goats and buffalo, not to mention the whistle of the train, Dexter is frantically grabbing my arm and yelling, ‘but, but, but, where’s the tender?  The coupling broke! Where’s the tender!?!?!?  He needs to go to the works to get mended.  He’s broke.  Where’s the TENDER???”  Apparently it had been left behind when the train jumped the track, but this was thoroughly, absolutely unacceptable to my young Dexter.  He had sat mostly quiet through the entire movie, but once the train came into play suddenly Dexter becomes so animated.  I swear, it’s nearly as bad as watching a Sci Fi movie with me…  And while it might not translate as well in this post, it was just about the most hilarious thing that’s happened here, since the time Dexter claimed that God was in his belly because he ate him all up.

Later, as he was fighting going to sleep, after having been called upstairs for the third time, I asked Dexter what was wrong, and he explained, “the train’s off the track, and, and, and, that OTHER train’s off the track.  Who’s going to tow them back to the Works to be mended?” I love my boys.

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