Spousal abandonment
Katie likes to abandon me. She might deny it, but actions speak louder than words, and tonight she was off to play Volleyball, while I manned the domestic front. Usually she leaves at 5 and is back at 7:30 or so, which means she leaves just before they eat, and gets back just after I’ve finished cleaning up after putting the boys to bed. Typical. With the daylight savings time change, the boys are now going to bed after 8, so Katie coincidentally decided to go out with her team for tacos, returning at 8:30, 6 minutes after the last yell from the boys.
And while my mind may be atrophying from excessive exposure to Boeing’s marketing department (or lack of sleep, or both), I can still keep a tally and manage simple sums. Katie’s playing volleyball, going to the SNOMOMs club, a couple of concerts soon, and a few other odds and ends. Not every time I watch the boys, of course – that’d be absurd – only the times when I’m watching them while Katie is off gallivanting. I keep a list. I track the hours. I’m banking them. I figure they earn 12% continuously compounding interest (coincidentally the rate at which I’m losing my hair). I’m up to 67 hours. That’s just about enough time for me to take a weekend in Vegas. I figure by next year I’ll be able to spend a week in Brazil for Carnival.
In the meantime, solo-time with the boys. Tonight I plunked them in the bath for a while. They wouldn’t leave the tub. I turned on a trickle of water, and Nic spent at least 30 minutes standing at the faucet, holding a small travel-sized bottle of Pantene conditioner under the water flow. That’s it. He just stood their. I’d splash water on him, he’d turn and laugh, then return to rinsing the bottle. Kids are weird.
Which brings me to another question – how do we know for sure what’s normal and what is truly weird with our kids? I mean, is snorting your sippy cup normal? Is it normal that they choke after almost every single time the drink from their sippy cups? That Nicholas refuses to stop brushing his teeth? That they pet each other? That Nicholas keeps running up to Dexter, poking him and yelling “Boh!”? That Dexter will only color with brown crayons?
Just curious…
-Joel
Recently
March 18th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
normal you say, with you as their Dad your asking for normal…. :-)x
March 18th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
normal you say, with you as their Dad you’re asking for normal…. :-)x
March 21st, 2010 at 6:56 am
I suppose I should clarify. Not “normal”, per say, but rather “will only result in lifelong therapy”, or “may require medication, and long-term hospitalization later in life.” The former is a direct consequence of their lineage – the latter may be as well, but nonetheless efforts ought to be exerted to avoid this fate, if for sake of insurance rates if nothing else.
March 22nd, 2010 at 4:43 pm
i think your kids are totally weird, man. i mean seriously, mine are normal, so that makes yours weird!
LOL
March 22nd, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Gina, normal you say, with you as their….etc etc Hope you and the family are well
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:20 am
Sorry about stealing your wife away for volleyball, Joel! We really enjoy her company, though, and hope you let her keep playing. And by the way, tacos was all her idea!!
March 24th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Who wants normal? Normal is just plain boring! Bring on the weirdness!!!!!!!!!!!!