Katie’s pretty well summed up what happened on our Michigan trip, but clearly something was missing from her post.  A certain je ne sais quoi, so to speak.  Well, actually, no – she just didn’t have the pictures.  I’ve finally finished sorting through them.  We had something like 936 when we got back.  For reference, on our month long trip to Europe, we came back with less than 2,000, so clearly we’ve gone insane.  I’ve whittled this down to merely 133 for your viewing pleasure.  There’re more than a few extra ones, especially when Dex went nuts with the mule, but the shots were just so illuminating as to his mood at the time that I felt compelled to keep them in.

I had been in a state of near-panic for months before this trip.  I figured it would go reasonably well when we were there, unless the boys went stir crazy, or Katie committed homicide after Loren took the boys on a reckless golf cart ride, or someone lost a hand in the shop, or Malin got deported.  None of that happened, thankfully.  Going through security the first time was hell.  Dexter lost it near the end, and ran back to Katie while she was getting patted down, and suddenly he was “contaminated” and had to be searched.  Katie thinks the screaming child in her arms sped up the search a little bit.  The slept through most of the flight out, and were very well behaved most of the time.  The had a lot of fun playing at both grandparents homes, and with their cousins.  Thanks again to everyone who helped with the equipment necessary to make the week work – it was perfect, and took so much of the stress out of the week.  Until Dex puked on landing on the way home, anyway.

It was awesome to see the boys exploring my “home”.  The Cider Mill, and the Gazebo, the Hands on Museum, Hudson Mills Park, Battle Creek Park, the Lighthouse Cafe, and of course their grandparents home.  It was great to introduce the boys to their Aunt and Uncles, their cousin and their adoptive-cousin, and some of the friends of my Dad who have been watching them for so long.  And my close friends, Alison (who flew up for the weekend), and Julie & Tony (who brought along their adorable niece, Gracie).

And I *suppose* I ought to mention how thankful we are that Malin was with us.  She went above and beyond, even before the puking.  She kept my dad entertained and gave him a chance to show off the sites of Michigan, hacked his wireless network, and then knocked on his window at 2am after locking herself out.  It was great to have an extra set of hands, because boy did we need them.  And I’m glad she got to see Michigan, too.

The trip was probably about the right length for this year – it was too short, in that there were other things we wanted to do, and people we wanted to see (I’m sorry, Kim!  I’ll try hard next time to make it work, but the distance was a little too great for such a short week), but we were running to near exhaustion trying to keep up there by the end.  And now, I’m actually looking forward to bringing them back again – though hopefully without the diapers or the high chairs.

Hope you like the pictures!

Michigan Trip 2010

OK – we survived the trip home.  For those of you who stayed on top of the adventure via Malin’s blog – fantastic.  For those of you who didn’t, here are a few more highlights from the rest of the trip.

Dexter and the pond.  Loren and Zaidee (aka Papa and Gaga Yates) have a pond with three fish and about 4000 frogs.  Every day, multiple times a day, Dexter would want to go visit the frogs.  We started to use this to our advantage – “Dexter, if you eat your food, you can go visit the frogs.  Dexter, if you want to go outside to see the frogs, you need to get our of your pajamas first.  And so on.”  With his new firm stance on the word no, we needed all the leverage we could get.  Dexter would literally run to the pond, stand so close to the edge that he needed constant supervision, and yell “FRA – Jmp.  Mama, FRA Jmp.  FRA Jmp” over and over again.  If they jumped into the water he’d say “Fra nap”.  Yes, Dexter, the frogs are taking a nap.  By the end of the week, the frogs would see us coming and all jump into the water upon spotting Dexter and I because of course I attempted to catch a few (and succeeded) for Dexter.  Joel taught him to “tickle” the frogs with a leaf, and Dex would laugh loudly when he “tickled” a frog.

Nicholas was not as in love with the frogs as Dexter.  As for the fish, the boys fed them a time or two but it was really the frogs that caught Dexter’s attention.

Dexter and the caterpillars.  While we were there, the caterpillars were out in force.  Dexter fell in love with them too and his grandparents put one into a frog cage for Dexter to tote around all day.  He called his caterpillar Fluffy.  Each day he would see a “Fluffy” out and about and needed to carry them around.  Some days I think Dexter will be a computer hacker and other days, I think he will be a bug specialist.

Dexter and keys.  Dexter has an obsession with keys.  He figured out how to insert and remove the keys from the golf cart cars that Loren keeps.  He was one step away from driving the golf carts himself.  When we visited the fire station in the town of Dexter where Loren is the fire chief, Dexter figured out how to prime a pump on a fire truck and was one step away from releasing 2,500 gallons of water into the fire station.  He also noticed that the keys were left in the fire truck jeep and let the fireman know about it.

So, you might be asking what Nicholas was up to this trip?  He was playing with 3 different train sets and lots of cars.  Joel and cousin Reid had over 100 match box cars for Nicholas to delight in.   Nicholas played contently while Dexter ran around and kept us on our toes.  He also LOVED riding on a Tricycle.

As for the plane ride home, both were troopers.  The day before we left, the boys finally got on Michigan time which I was dreading.  Thus, they had an extremely short nap as we drove to the airport.  They waited patiently as our plane was once again delayed an hour for mechanical problems.  Nicholas did not want to share his mom or his seat with Dexter, which made entertaining them a challenge.  Dexter finally quietly fell asleep on Malin while Nicholas fought sleep for another hour before kicking and crying while I rocked him to sleep.

We had a turbulent ride home which ended in a really bumpy landing.  All the food Dexter had just eaten to help his ears clear came right back up again – all over him, his seat, and his things on the floor, with just a little on Malin.  As we taxied to our gate, my seat belt was off and I was throwing bibs, napkins, plastic bags, and wipes back to Malin (she and Dexter sat behind Nic, Joel and I).  She stripped Dexter out of the layers I had dressed him in and passed him back to me over the top of the seat.  Malin cleaned and bagged everything up except for on puddle of puke on the floor in front of Dexter’s seat.  We had run out of rags to use.  As I got off the airplane, I notified a flight attendant – “you may want to clean up seat 24E.  there’s puke on the floor.” He looked at me funny.  By the time we made it to the kids’ playground within SEATAC – Dexter had made a full recovery.  Dinner was consumed by all.

On Sunday, Nicholas woke up at 4:45am.  That sucked – especially for Joel who got up with him.  The boys are now back on our time zone and back to routine.

It was a great trip and I want to THANK EVERYONE who loaned us car seats, pack and plays, high chairs and more.  A special thanks to Scott who let us sleep in his room and Loren and Zaidee for providing a roof over our heads.  It was a great trip and the boys really enjoyed playing with cousin Reid, Maya, Uncle Scott, Heather, Aunt Betsy, Grandpa Loren, Grandma Zaidee, Grandma Grandma Ruth, Grandma Crick and Grandpa Don.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!!

Let me first start off by saying, if you want an up to the minute report out on our adventures in Michigan, check out Malin’s blog at  minusa.blogg.se  She keeps it up to date.  With us, you are lucky to get this post with all the fun we are having.  Also, we didn’t bring our laptop so pictures will have to wait until after we get home.

OK then.  Friday was departure day.  Our flight was to leave SEATAC airport at 1:38pm.  The boys normally go down for a nap between noon and 1pm.  We were a little concerned especially since Nicholas collapsed, or should I say had a melt down and fell immediately asleep after his first day of school the day before at 11:30am.  We made it to the airport and parked our van.  Adventure number 1 started with the bus ride from the car park to the airport.  The boys 1st bus trip.  We then made them wear their back-packs and tow their luggage to the check in counter.  You have never seen bigger boys.  So cute and so grown up.  They did outstanding.

Lesson #1 – security lines at the airport.  Malin told us about a “family” line that short-cutted the main security line.  Note – it may seem like a good deal but it is not.  We got stuck behind 1 wheel chair, two walkers, and a business executive whose bags kept triggering the security people (seriously, they went through like 5 times each).  This was not a short cut.  We had waited in line a good 45 minutes before making it through.  Of course I get the pat down because of my metal hip.  At the same time, Dexter bumped his head playing and needed his mommy.  Thus, he joined me in the pat down room and thus had to get checked out too, because you know, Dexter is such a total terrorist.  The security guard who first let us into the line went on break just after he checked our tickets.  He came back from his lunch break just as I was done getting wanded.  He was schocked.  “You’re only now coming through?”

Lunch and playing in the kids area at the airport followed.  They had such a good time there.  Then it was on to our first tram ride to our departing terminal.  Once again, the boys took in every moment.  The escalator ride was slightly scary but manageable.  Then the smiles and wonder as Joel explained everything that was happening to the airplanes outside.

Wouldn’t you know it, our plane was delayed.  Nicholas and Dexter amazed us by hanging in there and not crashing.  As soon as Joel left to go to the bathroom, they called to board families first.  Dexter thought that this was a great time too poop.  Malin and I dragged the boys and the luggage to the line.  Joel joined us there.  Joel, Malin and Nicholas boarded the plane and Dexter and I raced to change a poopy diaper.

Once on the plane, the novelty soon worn off as we sat and waited to depart.  Overly tired kids do not like seatbelts.  Both Nicholas and Dexter faded off to slumberland as we taxied down the runway.  They did great on the flight.  No lion roars, only a few walks up and down the aisle way.  Mostly, they sat next to each other and put stickers on cars as the movie Cars played on the DVD player in front of them.  Once again, the only problem we really had was keeping the seat belts on them as we came down for the landing.

We got off the plane at 6pm our time / 9pm Michigan time.  It was dinner time.  We snuck into McDonald’s just as they were closing.  The boys ate while jumping up and down on the benches.  We had not had any time to run around yet.  Nicholas spilled have of his nuggets onto the floor.  Joel was not happy.  We made the boys walk to pick up the luggage which helped them get out some energy.  Grandpa Loren and Grandma Zaidee were ready to pick us up.  A 30 minutes drive followed – and we saw our first deer.

Lots of running around and the boys collapsed around 9pm PST – midnight Michigan time.

Since then, we had a Yates family day in which the highlight was feeding fish, looking at frogs, adopting a caterpillar named Fluffy, and riding around in golf carts. We’ve had a Roberts family day – highlights included playing with dogs, climbing trees, finding poison ivy, and riding around in a riding lawn mower.  We’ve had a slow at home day – Dexter learned to drive.  And we’ve had multiple melt-downs at meal time.

You see, Dexter decided now was a great time to say no.  Dexter does not budge and does not negotiate.  Meals have not been fun.

Other than that, the boys are loving it here.  We went to a beach today and might get thunderstorms tonight.  Loren kidnapped Malin yesterday and they explored Detroit.  I haven’t seen Detroit yet and am a bit jealous.

We will post pictures.  Until then – read Malin’s blog.  My alloted escape time is over.  Back inside to see if the boys are up from their nap. 

Today is September 17th, 114 days after that terrifying morning when our two oh-so-tiny little men were born.  Today is the 2nd anniversary of Dexter’s homecoming, the day when we brought Dexter home from the hospital, and gave up any last vestiges of sleep or sanity, became *real* parents of twins, and settled in for the long haul.  He was still struggling to eat, and on oxygen, but he was oh so beautiful.  He loved swinging, and watching people as they went about their day.  He loved listening to music, and having something to chew on.

You have to remember, this little kid started at 1lb 13.7 oz.

In case that doesn’t strike you as small, bear in mind that you probably gained more weight than that during your last Thanksgiving dinner.  And if it was Marilyn’s incredible cooking, you probably gained more than Nicholas’ weighed at birth (3lb).

He spent the first three months of his life on a ventilator, and the next 4 months on Oxygen.  He had heart surgery.  Three godawful infections.  Oh, but he was a fighter, thank God.  When the infections cleared, and the edema faded, he looked beautiful.  And while he was still on oxygen, he could go for stretches without the Oxygen, and we could finally see our boy.

Okay, that kid’s cute.  Don’t even try to argue.  He’s cute.  He’s our Dexter.  And on this very day, two years ago, we BROUGHT HIM HOME!!!

You have NO IDEA how good seeing that sign felt.

All packed up and ready to go.  And his Mommy loved him SO MUCH that she even let him bring his pet Husky, Harold, home with us.  Harold had the unenviable job of holding Dexter’s binkey in place, and if the binkey slipped out, he occasionally had to substitute his nose in its stead.

Over the next year he tried to kill us through psychological torture, sleep deprivation, and inundation with refluxed formula, but we persisted.  By the first anniversary, this is what our little DexSTAR looked like:

And now he’s another year older.  He’s a BIG kid now.  Yesterday he started school.  Today he’s taking his first airplane ride.  Tomorrow he’ll probably take a golf cart for a spin, jump off a deck, play with power tools, and scare his mother to death.  Sounds fitting, right?  We’re trying hard to make sure the boys know how special they are, and just how very thankful we are for them, and how much we respect just how hard and tenaciously they fought for their lives.  They earned our respect early, and God how we wish they hadn’t had to, but they did, and they did it, and thank God.

This year the celebration gets a tiny bit muddled.  We’re flying to Michigan today to visit with my family, and show the boys off to some of their distant fans.  We’ll be there for 8 days, returning home on the 25th.  So we’ve been telling Dexter for months that for his Homecoming, we’re taking him back to Michigan, letting him fly on a jet airplane, and probably giving him lots of junk food!  It’s not *quite* what we had in mind for homecoming celebrations, but we think he’ll love the experience.  Maybe a little too much.  I’m a little worried about his Roars on the airplane, but Dex can surprise you.  Here’s a sample of just how worried we are:

Those are all the new toys and gadgets we bought for the boys to keep them entertained on the airplane.  New matchbox cars, helicopter lights, new Thomas and Clifford books, stickers, Color Magic markers, weird squishy things, flash cards, magic tablets, pencil boxes, glitter sticks, Jacob’s ladders, silly putty, some odd goop, and Zaidee sent them backpacks (which came in handy today for school), whirling light toys, post it notes, more color-magic pads, and Kaleidescopes.  Yes, we’re terrified.  It’s all wrapped up (thank you, Malin) and in their very own carry on bags, so we can open them one at a time during the flight.  We’ve also been practicing with our headphones so they can pursue their favored passive entertainment as well with our portable DVD player:

Dex didn’t quite get the hang of the headphones, but this is why we practice

So I hope Dexter feels like he gets an exciting day.  He’ll sit with Daddy on the airplane for the first bit, and we’ll spend lots of time playing with his new toys, and reading his new books, and when he grinds Daddy into dust, Dad will tag Malin, and then go and hide in the bathroom.  He gets to eat peanut butter pretzels, and marshamallows, and bilar (candy cars from Sweden), and Jelly-bellies, and all sorts of bad-for-him food to keep his ears popping during takeoff and landing.  And he’ll spend the next 8 days getting loved to death.  Sound just about right?

Here’s looking at you, Dexter.

Each day we’re learning more about you.  You have an incredible heart, always helping your brother when he hurts.  Yesterday at school, we were supposed to practice sharing, each child holding the toy for one verse of the song.  When the toy was handed to Dexter, he immediately turned and handed it over to Nic (“no no, Dexter, don’t share just yet!”)  He’s hilarious, and enthusiastic, and irrepressible.  Just look at this kid, how could two parents be any more proud?

Happy homecoming, kiddo.  Go ahead and pick with both fingers, just for today.

Well so much for cute little toddlers at home.  The boys are officially students, now.  Katie and I stayed home from work this morning, and with Malin’s help we packed the boys off to the school to begin their institutionalization.  As we mentioned when we wrote about Anamaria, we found a preschool co-op to put the boys into.  At the time we were enrolling in one down in Mountlake Terrace, but just a short while later a couple of openings cropped up in the Mill Creek coop, which is barely 2 miles from our house.  Which is convenient because I’ve always heard that once kids start walking, you can expect them to be able to walk about as far as their age in miles, and since the boys are now 2, they should be able to walk to school if I’m too tired or otherwise ill-disposed to drive them.

It turns out that this is the same coop that Andrea was referring to when she commented on our blog a few months ago that we should look into co-ops.  So let me get this part out of the way – Yes, Andrea, you were right, and thank you for the suggestion.  There, I’m done.  I hate telling women that they’re right – you never live it down.  She’s going to be unbearable the next time I see her at the school.  Thank God Malin will normally be taking the boys…

So today we packed up the boys and went off to the school.  We arrived about 15 minutes early, which is fine because they have a large Anthrax area where the kids can play before class begins.  I can’t remember what it’s actually called, maybe Narthex?  I don’t know.  It’s the lobby to the building (church) where the preschool is held, and everytime I try and remember what it’s called all I can think of is Anthrax, which is probably wrong.  Teacher Gayle was there, and a short while later some of the other children arrived.  First was the beautiful (and fearless) Bella, with her mother, Gigi, in tow.  A few minutes later Angelica arrived with Ashton, followed by another Ashton and his Mother and another family member in tow.  And finally Andrea arrived to document the big FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  This meant that we had a adult-child ratio of 10-5, which seems pretty reasonable to us.  The school year begins with a “Slow Start”, which means only half of the children on the first day, and the other half on the next day, and everyone the following week.  Normally there’ll be 16 kids and 8 adults running around, so what seemed chaotic today won’t hold a candle to what it’ll be like soon.  God help us.  Well, Malin, anyway.  I’ll be at work.

On my first day of school, I freaked out when I couldn’t find Mrs. Weidlich, and panicked and started balling, and some friendly adult COMPLETELY IGNORED MY EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION AND MIND NUMBING TERROR and instead stopped to take a photo, which then became the front page of the local newspaper the next day.  My parents have ever-so-helpfully retained several copies of this image, for which I plan on getting even with them when they’re in a nursing home.

Our boys did much better.  They loved driving the cars, and playing at the sensory table, and the play doh, and their art project, and later running around outside.  Their clothes were wet and covered with paint and dirt, which sounds successful to me.  Dex even has some paint in his ear, so he got extra credit.  They were a little too tired to partake in some of the later activities, and Nicky absolutely passed out when we got home, but all told I think they liked it, and it’ll add some excitement and variety to the week.  Here’re some photos of the momentous occasion.  You can watch the slideshow here, or click on the photos to go and look at them in Picasa.

It’s so funny.  You keep the play-do and crayons in the closet, out of sight, and the boys can’t wait to play with them.  You become more efficient, buying a standing multi-tiered see-through bin for storage of all arts and crafts so that you know what you have and what you need, and you place that  said storage in plain sight in the kitchen.  What happens next?  Our once color happy fiends, who you could not say the word “color” around without then having to color for 25 minutes, have become artists no longer.

Nicholas and Dexter are no longer excited by crayons and butcher paper.  They no longer love to shoot play-doh through tubes.   The saying “out of sight, out of mind” is wrong.  It should be “out of sight – want to play with,  in line of sight – no longer interested”.   Why is that?  Why are we excited more by those things that remain hidden?  Maybe Joel and I should buy a huge wooden cabinet, and put all the toys inside.  Then every day would be a special day of what do we want to play with inside the magic cabinet.  Actually, that is not such a bad idea.  My dining room table might just be usable then.

So, enjoy the following photos of Nic and I.  We had so much fun that day.  It’s amazing what a little “nose job” can do for your relationship with your son.  ;)

Anytime we mention that we have an Au Pair to someone, we have to spend the next 10 minutes explaining what an Au Pair is (“a person” doesn’t offer adequate definition, apparently – I’ve tried).  Alternatively, people give you weird looks because they’ve “heard stories about Au Pairs”, and apparently they’re talking to different people than us because most of the stories I hear are no where near as interesting as theirs.  I think the one my Dad mentioned involved a guy going nuts and killing his wife to be with his Au Pair.  Don’t worry, neither Malin nor Laura would ever have had me, so we’re safe there.

On the other hand, I was recently trying to send a link to the video that our next Au Pair, Anamaria, had made for CultureCare Au Pair’s website.  The website is http://aupairvideos.com, and all they have are videos that Au Pairs have made, telling you about themselves and explaining why they want to travel to the US and watch children.  I tried to send this link from work, whereupon I got an “ACCESS DENIED” screen on my computer, and warnings that my computer usage was being monitored and repeated attempt to access pornographic sites like aupairvideos.com would lead to disciplinary action.  Obviously I haven’t browsed through enough of the videos, because the only ones I’ve seen have been about kids and family, but apparently I live a sheltered life.

We have heard of Au Pairs who have had indiscretions with the host father, which usually ends badly and is generally considered an awkward living situation.  We’ve also heard of Au Pairs caught in the middle of disintegrating marriages (“if she asks me if you were home last night, I’m not going to lie”).  And while we did our damdest (and by we, I mean “I”) to say the most inappropriate things to Laura, we haven’t really generated much in the way of shocking foibles.  I guess that means we’re boring.

Well, one thing that’s been different this year is that Malin has friends over ALL THE TIME.  In fact, there were four Swede’s sleeping here last Saturday night, and 3 tonight.  This has significantly increased the likelihood of awkward moments, but has provided the amusing sideshow of watching three near-teenage girls trying to get ready to go out on the town for the night, and oh dear god it’s scary.

So right, teenage girls wandering about the home.  Something was inevitably going to go wrong.  Normally the girls stay in Malin’s room.  When her mother and sister visted, they slept in the spare room, but that was very obvious and known to all. so no problems there.  The problem is that occasionally Malin mixes things up on me, presumably to just to get me arrested.  Actually, they’re all over 18, so not arrested, but at least make people look at me with a knowing, disapproving expression.

The first occurence was Angelica’s fault.  Angelica is one of my favorite Au Pairs.  She’s very sweet, and pretty (especially in Laura’s sense of the word), and seems to be almost constantly living in a state of damsel-in-distress.  Mostly this means that she’s funny and adorable, and she loves to play with our boys, and the stories Malin tells us make us shake our heads in exasperation.  Like I said, one of my favorites.

So when she spent the night one night, I thought nothing of it.  I *assumed* she was in Malin’s room.  She always was every other time she’d stayed here.  That day also happened to be Mothers day.  I’d bought Katie a book for Mother’s day, by one of her favorite authors.  This led to a discussion where we were trying to remember the name of a character in the prequel.  That book was up in our spare bedroom.  You know, the empty room, next to Malins, where we have a spare bed set up that is almost never used, and where we store all of our books.  So I head upstairs, walk into the room, and grab the book.  I think to myself, “if I go downstairs, Katie will see me holding the book and reassign me to some chore with the boys, so I’ll just take 10 seconds and find the name of the bloody character.”  So I sit down on the foot of the bed and search quickly through the book.

The bed moves.

I’m completely startled, and jump up, and see Angelica’s head emerge from under the covers.  Oh God.  Now I’m THAT host dad.  Seriously, you couldn’t see her when you entered the room – she was completely under covers.  And the comforter is navy blue, and the room was dark, and SHE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, but THEN SHE WAS, and now I’m THAT GUY.  I jump up and run out of the room, and run to tell Katie so that she doesn’t think I’m trying to molest the teenage girls sleeping at our house and start divorce proceedings and demand full custody of the boys and I end up living alone in studio apartment playing video games all night and bemoaning the child support check, which is to say in case Malin tells her the story first.

Another time, I know that a girl is staying in that room, though I don’t know if she’s in the room at the moment, and it’s the middle of the afternoon, but I need something out of the room so you gotta do what you gotta do.  I go up to the room, and knock on the door several times, with no response.  I tentatively open the door, to find her standing there in her (thankfully very LONG) T-shirt.  So now I’m turning beet red, and thinking “how can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?” and stammering, “sorry, I was just looking for the – oh, nevermind.  Sorry!”  She says, “it’s okay, you can come in.”  And I say, “no, no, I really, REALLY can’t.”  And then I run away.  I think Katie found me a few hours later, hiding behind the shop vac, under the pool table, out in the garage.  Swedish girls obviously hate redheads.  Redheads and Finns and geeks, as near as I can tell.

A couple of months later, and Angelica is spending the night again, along with Catrin.  I vow to not, under any circumstances, even TOUCH door to the den.  I have no idea if she’s sleeping in there or not, but I don’t care if I have anaphylactic shock and the epi-pen is stored in that room, because I’m NOT going near it.  And as I walk by room the next morning I see this note on the door:

Thank god, finally someone’s trying to protect MY dignity.  Didn’t I tell you Angelica was sweet?

Our boys are nearly at the age where they should be moving out of the house and getting jobs, so you’d think they’d at least have mastered the eating thing.  Not so much.  They’re fickle in their interests, all too eager to play, and far too ready to roar like a lion for our comfort.  In his defense, Dexter has an excellent roar.

And honestly, they’re often so happy about defying us, that it’s really, really hard to take a principled stand.  Sure, he rejects everything we make him, but look how happy he gets when we give him Cheerios?

Of course he isn’t eating them in this picture, mostly just swiping them from side to side, and onto the floor.  No, he only eats them when we start to get him out of his chair, at which point he grabs huge piles with each hand and shovels them into his mouth.

And don’t think Nicholas is a saint, either.  We used to call him Saint Nic in the NICU, when he was so well behaved (he never talked back to us the ENTIRE TIME he was there!!!), but not anymore.  He’ll eat most any meat, but try pasta, or a sandwich, or any vegetables and fruit, and watch out.  And I do mean watch out, he has an arm on him.  Also a mouth, though it often isn’t used for its intended purpose.  As an example, can you identify the white blur coming out of Nicholas’ mouth?

That’s right, a piece of string cheese.  That’s how he dealt with his “treat” that evening – he turned his mouth into a torpedo tube.  Extra points for creativity, but it certainly is a pain.

Dexter sits there, laughing uproariously, throwing Cheerios.

While Nicholas looks as proud as a peacock, and just about ready to reload the cheese tube.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

And then there’s the mess.  Oh god, the mess.  We switched the boys seats a couple of months ago.  We had originally put Nic in the seat that was more reclined because he was messier (it’s covering is plastic, not fabric), and because he would twist around more, and that high chair had over-the-shoulder straps.  Then we had to switch because once he got a hold of a spoon, all sorts of food went down his front, so we switched him to the chair that put him in a more upright position and the tray closer to his belly.  Dexter is USUALLY the much cleaner kid.  And then you turn around and see this:

What the hell?  Seriously, kid, it looks like war paint.  We’d love to move them to the table and be done with the high chairs (if only to get them out of the kitchen), but at this rate we’ll have to find teenager-sized high chairs before they ever graduate.

We’re also working on their drinking problem.  They’re pretty good with sippy cups.  We’ve tried some cups with straws, which usually works well, but then they have FAR too much fun pulling the straws out, and you can be pretty well convinced that no matter what we do we lose.  That said, just tell me that YOU would be able to look at this kid and tell him he’s doing it wrong?

We occasionally practice with real cups.  If we’re thinking (which is unlikely, given the sleep deprivation and CONSTANT NOISE) we use very small amounts of WATER.  If we’re idiots, we turn our back when a class of milk or juice is within reach.

Sure, it SEEMS like its working.  Then you notice that they’re soaked, and the floor is soaked, and your socks are soaked, and no matter how many times you fill the cup up they WON’T STOP ASKING FOR MORE!

Go ahead, try and say no.  Just try.  Which you will inevitably give in to, because he’ll make this face after you give him his next drink:

So all I’m saying is that life sucks, but our kids are cute, and I’m thinking we should move on to intravenous nutrition because the adult food thing is clearly now working out, and I’m about ready to start eating pureed oatmeal myself, but nobody cares because look how happy he is?

I’d cry, but they’d only laugh at me, and then I’d have to clean up another mess.  Maybe we should just convert the house into an ale-house – spread sawdust on the floor and stop worrying about it.  Hose the boys down once a week in the backyard and call it good.  But then, if we did, Laura’s dad would move in and we’d never be able to get him to leave.  Seriously, we just can’t win.

A couple of weeks ago Nicholas was going through a bit of a rough patch.  He was a bit sick, and I think he even threw up a couple of times.  He was really tired, but he would get congested when we laid him down in his crib and start to panic.  I was cleaning up our garage when he woke up from his nap far too early, and Katie went to soothe him.  I didn’t hear anything more for a while, and didn’t come back into the house for 45 minutes, and there I found Katie and Nicholas, sitting in the living room, both peacefully unconscious.  Nick had his monkey, his dog, and his hippo, and Katie had her iPod.

Nothing too exciting, of course, it’s just one of those moments when you get to look at your son (or one of them, anyway), and your wife, and realize that your life is pretty nearly perfect.

Plus, if you notice, Nicholas’ onesie had burst his pants open, which I think is kind of funny, but that’s just me.

And the price for least original parenting experience goes to – kid with bucket on head runs into wall.  Dexter was our first entrant – he grabbed a bin, put it over his head, squealed and ran a half circle, right into the wall.  Katie and I share the, “oh god, it’s begun” look, and then run to soothe the crying child.

It certainly doesn’t end there.  There always seems to be a bucket on someone head, or a stuffed animal, or a brother, or something.  I don’t get the draw, but for whatever reason, boys like to bounce off of unseen obstacles.  They also spin in circles until they fall over, and try to fall off of anything they can find.  I have to say, buying that new carpet was the single best investment we’ve made (well, since buying the boys, anyway, but that was an obvious 2-for-1 special, so it doesn’t really count).

And here, one of my boys tries to rack up the pinball points.  He’s a pinball wizard.  How do you think he does it?  I don’t know.  What makes him so good?  Bonus quiz:  Which boy is it???  (hint – it’s not Joel)