I am so very tired this afternoon.  Dragging in fact.  The last couple of nights/days have been hard ones.  As any superstitious parent knows, one never utters phrases like “they are being so good right now” or “now this is a dinner they will love”, etc…. because, if you say it out loud, the tide will change and you will be bailing water like your life depended upon it.

But if you think it, what will happen?  A few days ago, Joel thought “wow, we haven’t been to the doctor with the boys in a while.”  Famous last words because as of right now, ah, this is so hard to write because I feel like I am dooming myself, I am the last one standing.  A cold that started on Christmas Eve with the boys, slowly grew and mutated.  Wednesday was a bad night with Dexter – his ears hurt and he had a horrible cough.  I made Joel take them to the doctor Thursday morning.  Verdict – just a cold.  Thursday evening, Joel is hit hard and ends up on the couch, overcome with aches and pains.  Thursday night, I’m up with Dexter more than a few times during the night.  Friday – I stay home from work to take care of the troops.  Joel’s comment to me “I am so sorry Katie.  All I had to do was last 3 days and I couldn’t even do that.”  Friday night, after the walk in clinic closes, Dexter complains that his ears hurt again.  Lovely.  Nicholas coughs once or twice and demands medicine.  We think he is “crying wolf” because he likes the sugary taste of Tylenol and Dex is getting a lot of attention.  At 10:45pm, Dexter is HOT and shaking.  I start to panic, wake Joel up, we give him more medicine.  Once again, I’m up a few times in the night helping a cranky and coughing Dexter.  Saturday morning, I take Dex to the walk in clinic.  Verdict – ear infection in both ears and lots of post nasal drip which is causing the cough.  Ugh.  Dexter doesn’t want to eat anymore but the medicine call for food.  It becomes a struggle getting the bare minimum in him so the medicine doesn’t tear up his stomach.  Saturday is kind of a grumpy day.  Nicholas starts to bark like a seal around 8pm.  Not a good sign.  He wakes up at 2:30am sounding like Darth Vader.  I give him a nebulizer treatment.  He’s up off and on until 4:00am, when he calls out from the hallway, crying and complaining of not being able to breathe well and has a panic attack.  I have a panic attack too because of how horrible he sounds.  This time, I wake Joel up.  We go downstairs and put on the movie Cars while I neb him again, trying to calm him down.  It works, he calms down and we watch an hour of the movie before trying to sleep again.  The boys are up at 6:45am.  I kick Joel out of bed to go deal with it.  I hear Nicky bark periodically over the baby monitor.  The next thing I know, Dexter is climbing in bed with me at 7:12am.  The walk in clinic opens at 8am.  I turn on the light and the next thing I know, Dexter is coughing.  We both slept for another 15 minutes.  I jump into the shower.  Dexter comes into the bathroom with snot dripping down his face.  I jump out of the shower, throw my robe on and find him on our bedroom floor, moaning.  Hair dripping wet, I carry him downstairs to find Joel asleep on the living room floor and Nicky smiling at me from his chair.  Poor Joel, he hasn’t had much of a chance to recover from his cold yet.  I get the boys breakfast while Joel showers.  Then I get a chance to get ready.  Nicky and I head to the walk in clinic.  Feels like I’ve done this before.  ;)  There is a long line this time but I tell the admin that Nicky’s breathing is freaking me out.  We are next to go in.  Nicholas has croup.  Not much you can do but wait it out. Read online that night two and three are worse than night one.  Wish me luck tonight.  Thank God Joel’s mom and step-dad (Chris and Don) fly into to watch the boys this week.  Hopefully we don’t get them sick and everyone feels better soon.

Wait – one more thing.  Joel is following Nicholas around, asking him to say things like “Luke, I am your father” and “I find your lack of faith disturbing”.  If you have the voice for it, be Vader.  It’s the humor that gets you through.

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